Terms and conditions for supply

The working stance of The Noise Chap, as anyone who has dealt with us will attest, is to be flexible, open, approachable, friendly and professional at all times, but we do have to have some terms and conditions for the services we supply and all quotes are subject to the terms and conditions given here.

In the absence of any alternative written, agreed and signed purchase terms, The Noise Chap's terms as below are the terms on which supply is made and which form the basis of any supply agreement.

A) Quotes and booking

  1. Quotes are valid for 30 days from the date on the quote itself unless is it stated as an annual quote

  2. All quotes are a total price (plus VAT) and do not have additional charges such as travel, accommodation, etc. to be added.

  3. All quotes are based on 30 day payment terms.

  4. To accept a quote, all we need is a completed Booking Form returning (unless alternate arrangements for bookings are agreed - usually for long-standing clients). This should include a PO number, or confirmation that PO numbers are not used, along with confirmation of the delivery address (as this is often different to the office address for many companies). The form should also include the contact details (email) of the person in Accounts to whom the invoice will be sent.

B) Invoicing and payment

  1. The Noise Chap's standard credit terms are that, unless it is stated otherwise in the quote, the invoice will be issued at the time of the report being sent to the client or the training completed, and for payment to be made within 30 days of this invoice date.

    Why so foot-stampingly stringent about this?
    We are small, very small, so our invoices are pretty much directly linked to our salary that month. If we agree to ‘90 days from end of month’ or something then that is all well and good, but Mr Tesco won’t accept ‘I’ll pay you in three month’s time’ when we go and do our weekly shop there. We will do a deal though - any company can have ‘90 days from end of month’ terms if they can show me that the Head of Purchasing or the Finance Director is paid a minimum of three month’s in arrears rather than at the end of the month in which they have just worked. We don’t have a big pool of money sloshing about and the smidgen of profit on our invoices (which is less than you may think) is our salary.

    We believe it is only fair that when we do what we say we will do, and do it very well, then accounts departments pay for that work promptly. The Noise Chap is VERY good at what we do and we view companies delaying payments as a breach of that mutual respect.

  2. If a client requires longer payment terms than 60 days from date of invoice, The Noise Chap Ltd. reserves the right to request copies of the annual accounts covering the current and previous two full years of trading to confirm creditworthiness of the company before agreeing to such terms. If a company has such cash-flow problems that they cannot pay within this time frame we need to be fully appraised of the credit risk.

  3. Payments are only accepted by bank transfer, cheques are not accepted. (We aren’t being stroppy, honest. Sodding Barclays shut the local branches!)

  4. Large companies love their computer systems and always trot out that they are 'to help suppliers manage their invoicing better' as the reason for some crazily complex online portal. I am fed up of dealing with these online portals - they may be easy for the client's accounts department but they are not easy when you have to log into portal after portal, none of which ever work properly. Seriously big companies - fire the IT people who sold you this rubbish and just hire another accountant - it will be cheaper and it will work better. And accountants can make coffee and bring biscuits in. On more than one occasion invoices have been lost into those things never to be paid so I would rather lose work than deal with those bloody portal things again - I'm looking at you Sainsbury's, you're on my naughty naughty spanky no-supply list until you get rid of that ridiculous portal.

  5. The Noise Chap invoicing will be either by email to the nominated accounts department or email to the nominated contact, specified at time of confirming the work.

  6. Reports remain the property of The Noise Chap Ltd. until payment is received and no follow-up support service will be provided until payment is received.

C) Noise assessments

  1. For a noise assessment, we will assess jobs, equipment or tools which are operating at the time of the assessment. If a key job or equipment only operates at specific times of day please inform us in advance so we can make sure we are there at the correct time(s) for it. Where equipment is not operating we are happy to work with the client to get a quick sample measurement from it if possible for inclusion in the report.

  2. Our target for reports is for them to be emailed to the client within ten working days of the on-site assessment date.

D) Audiometry

  1. The van operates via a single 240v extension lead which can plug into any standard three-pin indoor socket and also into any 240V 16A round outdoor socket. The van carries around 25m of cable enabling it to be used in a variety of positions. The Client should ensure a suitable location within this range.

  2. We choose a heavy brightly coloured cable so if it needs to cross a pathway it will be clearly visible and will not ruck up to cause a trip hazard. We will always run cables to minimise the need to cross any footpath and if we do need to, it will cross directly across in a straight line rather than at an angle, thereby minimising the extent of the crossing. We also carry rubber mats to cover them if needed.

  3. The client must ensure that the van location is such that the cable will not be driven over by fork lift trucks or other vehicles with solid wheels. This will damage the cable and render it unsafe. In such cases, where the cable has been placed at the instruction of the client we reserve the right to add the cost of replacement cable to the value of the invoice.

  4. As 'noise-proof' is impossible to achieve, even with a booth, as with any mobile unit it is important that the van is positioned away from sources of high noise such as loud extraction vents, alongside busy roads, and importantly, away from fork lift truck reversing beepers. If the client instructs the van to park somewhere unsuitable we will work with them on the day to find a quieter location but if this is not possible, we will test but add the proviso to the report that there was considerable background noise at the time.

  5. It is greatly appreciated if client employees can avoid drawing little pictures of their genitals on the waiting room seat or walls within the van. We are sure they have lovely little chaps of which they are very proud (and it is always chaps, women seem perfectly able to sit there without doodling pictures of their lady bits) but nobody really needs to see a crap pen drawing of them. On the wall. And it is most annoying when we have spent thousands of pounds of our own personal money making the highest quality testing environment possible. We reserve the right to add any costs for fixing this to the client's invoice.

  6. Some clients have a 'reverse park' policy on their sites. Please be aware that the van cannot reverse park. Or to be accurate, it can reverse park (although Rob's ability to reverse it is open to discussion), but as the entry and exit doors are at the back it would render it useless. We've genuinely had a security chap with a very nice shiny yellow jacket argue this point before, insisting that all vehicles are reverse parked even though that would have meant the rear door was not able to be opened and nobody would be able to get into it for a hearing test. This man was a complete numpty.

  7. Client employees MUST NOT amend, alter or otherwise fiddle about with the van or it's equipment. This sounds bonkers to include as a term but we've had experience of a unit arriving on a client's site and then discovering the client hadn't got a suitable electrical hook-up as they had some weird non-standard plug thing. Before we knew it and when we weren't looking, the on-site electrician had whipped the end off our cable and put a new one on so it could be plugged in. This was great and very helpful of him, except we didn't know it had been done and at the next job we discovered the cable, and therefore whole van, now couldn't be used on any other site at all for the rest of the week. Clients should also be aware that if one of their employees fiddles with the van's cabling then they are now responsible for it's safety which is a needless responsibility for clients to take on. If this happens we will have to recharge clients for the lost work arising from the actions of their employee.

E) Cancellation and postponement

We appreciate that occasionally a client may need to postpone a booking.

Over 21 calendar days: 
Following provision of booking confirmation, work can be cancelled or postponed by the client up to 21 calendar days before commencement. 

11 to 20 calendar days:
A payment equivalent to 50% of The Noise Chap quoted rate (plus VAT) will be due if the work is cancelled or postponed within 11 to 20 days of agreed date(s) as confirmed by purchase order or written confirmation.

Within 10 calendar days:
Due to the low probability of re-filling the dates at short notice, payment in full (plus VAT) will be due if the work is cancelled or postponed within 10 calendar days of agreed date(s) as confirmed by purchase order or written confirmation.

Cancellation or postponement fees may be waived at The Noise Chap’s discretion.

F) On-Site Rules - PPE, etc.

  1. The Noise Chap will comply with all health and safety requirements for the client's site. If PPE is needed such as high-vis clothing, footwear, eyewear, head protection, flame-proof clothing, etc. then please notify us in advance, at time of booking as not all PPE can be carried at all times to every job. Adam particularly sometimes travels to jobs by motorbike as he loves nipping through traffic cheating death, and he can carry all the PPE required for a job but is unable to carry every variation of PPE which may be needed for every site just in case. If a client has not notified us in advance of a PPE requirement and a job cannot go ahead because of it then the invoice will be due in full for that booking.

  2. It sounds stroppy, but if a job cannot go ahead because of a non-regulatory rule made up by a site with which we cannot comply on the day without advance notification, the job will be invoiced in full. We will try and co-operate as much as we can, honestly, but we need to know in advance if a client has introduced some bonkers rule along the lines of it only being safe to walk into a site backwards while wearing a leather gimp suit and singing the Estonian national anthem. In Russian. (I suspect Audiometry Rob already has the gimp suit but I would need time for him to learn Russian...). Or a real-world example - one client insisted that our big thick outdoor-standard cable couldn't run across wet grass as it was "dangerous" - not a plug/socket connection on wet grass, just the big thick insulated cable designed to take knocks and stop people getting zapped, but which the client thought wet grass would somehow render lethal. In cases such as this where there is no regulatory restriction, and indeed no risk, and the job cannot go ahead, we would invoice in full.

  3. The Noise Chap can happily provide risk assessments and PL insurance certificates for all works undertaken but please ask for these in advance. The people coming to do the jobs carry minimal or no paperwork so will not have paper copies of risk assessments or procedures to hand and probably won't have access to the PL insurance certificate at all. Again, if entry to a site is denied because of this and we have not been asked for them at least 48 hours in advance then the booking will be payable in full.

G) Bad weather

If Noise Chap personnel can get to the client's site then we will consider the roads open and usable and payment for the work will be due in full.

I've had to introduce this due to a job in the past where an employee got from Cardiff to Tewkesbury and then all the way to Edinburgh, only for the Client to say the job couldn't go ahead as 'the roads are blocked and people can't get in', just as our chap was arriving at their factory gates. He had to turn round and drive all the way back to Cardiff again, along the 'blocked' roads which were impassible according to the client's employees. It seemed the problem wasn't the amount of snow on the roads but was more down to how strongly the client's employees fancied a day off playing in the snow.

H) Transfer of audiometry and spirometry data to a new screening provider

As the The Noise Chap supplies all results to the client, where data needs to be transferred to a new supplier the client should send them the PDF document we supply as the report and which contains all the results. This is the most practicable route as the client already has all the results in a readable format, whereas the data at our end they are in the form of one .dat file per test per person which can only be read by the software provided by GM Instruments for their specific audiometers.

Paper copies will not be provided as part of the transfer as the client already holds all the necessary information to pass on.

When a client informs us they are moving to a new supplier we will delete all audiometry records within 14 days.

All audiometry and spirometry provision is made on this basis.