Why ‘The Noise Chap’ as a company name?

Simple - The Noise Chap is Adam, who is a chap and works in noise. As Mr Ronseal would say, it does exactly as it says on the tin.

Noise Chap Adam

Adam has worked in health and safety, and noise specifically, for far longer than he cares to remember. Or indeed given his advancing years, longer than he can remember these days. For the record Adam is not one of the old chaps in the photos on this site, he's not that ancient. Yet. Although he does make a lot of grunting noises when he sits down. Adam started out in the world of semi-gainful employment working in health and safety for a company called AlliedSignal in a turbocharger factory, before moving on to a cake factory which had the massive bonus of a conveyor belt of hot chocolate cake going right past his office window. He ate a lot. The factory is closed now but this is not related to how much he ate, honest. After that it was to a poultry breeding company, progressing through that company and its parent to become the, frankly preposterous sounding, Global Director Health, Safety and Environment. 

Adam Noise Chap.JPG

That was good for a few years but new things were calling, so he quit and went into health and safety consultancy which grew into predominantly a noise, audiometric testing and fire risk management business, along with a lot of health and safety work. This developed for almost a decade to the point of having a client list of over 650 companies and conducted around 250 noise assessments and about 25,000 workplace hearing tests every year all over the UK. Eventually in 2016 Adam called time, tootled off and after 23 years in health and safety, took two years out, initially bashing knackered houses about to make them good again, and then latterly starting up a business importing Greek olive oil to the UK. Don't ask - let's just say a warm summer's night in Crete and much partaking of alcohol was involved... Finally in June 2018, refreshed and enthused again it was time to get back into the workplace and The Noise Chap was born. The intention has been to strip away the rest of the health and safety work and just focus on the one thing Adam enjoys doing, and do that one thing exceptionally well. No fire risk assessments, no health and safety work, no fire training, no legal advice on health and safety, no general risk assessments, basically nothing where the answer could possibly be 'wear high-vis'. And the intention was no employees, no stress. That resolve lasted for nearly four whole days of The Noise Chap's existence, which brings us to Noise Chap Minion Number 1...

Noise Chap Rob

Reverend Rob was previously employed by Cheltenham and Gloucester and then went to a specialist consultancy, working on audiometric testing, spirometry and skin assessment screening services for several years. Rob wandered the motorway networks of the UK with a look of genial happily bemused benevolence, and it has to be said got lost more than is probably normal for a bloke with a SatNav in front of him. Rob is bloody good at what he does so when Adam was looking to incorporate audiometric testing into The Noise Chap's services and Rob was looking for something new to get his teeth into, it made sense to lure Rob over to a new land of milk and honey. Well, to be honest, the promise of a new van and a lovely special mop he can call his friend seemed to do the trick. Rob joined The Noise Chap at the end of July 2018, ready to darken the doorsteps of clients up and down the country just in time for their August holiday shutdowns. The timing of this was probably not an accident on Rob’s part.

Do we really cover all the UK for audiometric testing?

Yes indeedy. One of the reasons Tewkesbury was chosen as a base is that it is right on the M5 with ready access to Birmingham and the West Midlands, but also in very easy striking distance of London, Manchester, Leeds, etc. Scotland is an easy run so we do genuinely work from Inverness to the pointy bit of Cornwall, and happily take in Wales and Northern Ireland. Both Rob and Adam are those weird sorts who are quite happy trundling up and down motorways.

For the record, a few years ago we did have a noise assessment client in Dorset who liked what we did so much that they asked us to do noise assessments for them in Singapore, the Philippines, the Caribbean and Americaland. I think it is important to make it clear to anyone that this is more than acceptable to us and if someone is needed to go and wave a noise meter around somewhere hot in the Caribbean then we can have a bag packed in about ten minutes flat.

What's with all the old bloke photos?

Nothing more than stylistic pics which make me smile. They look like old blokes still having fun in life, probably a bit cheeky and still living each day with joy. That's a proper 'chap' to me and seems like a good way to live. As an example, I took the photo of the chaps at the top of this page and they met every day in Thassos town in Greece, to just play cards and chat and laugh as the sun set over the harbour. 

The company bits n bobs

The Noise Chap Ltd. is registered at Companies House in Cardiff in Walesland, and is company number 5240085. The Noise Chap Ltd.'s VAT number is 280547103 and The Noise Chap Ltd is registered for data processing with the Information Commissioner's Office.

Diversity policy

Last time round Adam worked with a lovely group of weirdos and oddballs and it made work a very enjoyable place to be. Discrimination is silly for any reason and people are always hired because of their ability, or future ability, to do the job and their 'fit' into the existing company and personnel. I even employed northerners and you don't get more right-on than that. Or in their language, 'reet-on'.

Equal pay policy 

People are always paid a good rate for the job, although I am sure employees will always argue otherwise! Pay levels are based on experience, job role, time with the company as loyalty is rewarded, seniority and pre-existing qualifications. Pay is not decided by gender or race or any other reasons like that, which would be frankly idiotic.

Gender diversity

The Noise Chap has a gender imbalance of 100% male, 0% female. Unless it is Rob’s Special Friday Night when we may become 30% female for a while.