POLICIES
The various policies describing how we operate

Quality Policy

While the website takes something of a light-hearted approach to many element, we hope it is evident that quality is at the heart of what we do. We insist that our testing or assessments are done to the highest standards, ensuring that all audiometry for example meets the British Standard for Pure Tone Audiometry and the British Society of Audiology’s standards for screening audiometry. We are a teeny micro company so have no corporate office to hide behind and obfuscate things if we are found not to have done the job properly. From experience, it can be years down the line when an insurance company defending a claim suddenly pops up and asks for proof of how a certain test was done, and we will always be able to answer it.

Our Director is responsible for quality within the company. This means all tests or assessments are either done by the Director directly, or if done by a Technician always go to the Director first for review before being sent to clients.

Why no ISO-gubbins?

Frankly, because of cost, and because of its limited value to a company as tiny as us. Although clients probably would always think otherwise, margins can be razor-thin and any increased cost due to auditing and accreditation would contibute a discernible amount to every job. Add to that we only have two written procedures, one for noise assessments and one for screening, and only three employees plus the boss, and an ISO accreditation becomes of little practical value to us and an additional cost to the customer.

Environmental Policy

The headline here is that we are not carbon positive, not even carbon neutral, we are so good we are carbon negative.

When the business was created, it was built from the very start to be as lean as possible and built around the latest technologies. As such we have no physical office at all, so no gas or electricity, no heating or lighting, no staff travel to a central site, no furniture, etc, We have no physical product so no resources there either. We have no physical hazardous wastes nor are any hazardous products used, with our only waste products being the occasional litter bin of debris.

We have a full Environmental Policy in the link below which covers all our impacts and how we end up carbon negative.

Link: Our full Environmental Policy is detailed in full here.

Diversity and Discrimination Policy

Being a tad blunt, this is the one company policy which we actually find the need for to be a bit silly as it implies that unless you write a policy saying clearly that you will not discriminate then the natural stance of the company must be to discriminate. Do we assume all companies without such a written policy therefore love a bit of discrimination? It is generally considered bad form to murder people and we have successfully managed to operate the company without murdering anyone despite not having an ‘anti-murder policy’ and discrimination is no different.

Discrimination is silly for any reason and people are always hired because of their ability, or future ability, to do the job and their 'fit' into the existing company and personnel. We have even employed northerners and you don't get more right-on than that. Or in their language, 'reet-on'.

Equal Pay Policy 

People are always paid a good rate for the job, although we are sure employees will always argue otherwise. Pay levels are based on experience, job role, time with the company ensuring loyalty is rewarded, seniority and pre-existing qualifications. Pay is not decided by gender or race or any other reasons like that, which would be frankly idiotic.

Accreditations, etc.

Basically, there are none which apply to us as a company. We aren’t ‘health and safety’ as all we do is audiometry, spirometry and noise assessments, and there are no governing bodies in the UK for those. This means IOSH and OSHCR don’t apply to us as they are ‘jack of all trades’ health and safety programmes, whereas we just do a small number of subjects but to a level well beyond normal health and safety.

We update ourself regularly on audiometry and noise but there are no CPD courses. Without trying to brag, this is because we have done this for years and do it to a standard beyond most other screening providers, so there are no external ‘refresher’ courses out there for us to attend. Indeed, our gallant leader has on occasion delivered refresher training to other occupational health types, to GPs who are involved in workplace screening and to organisations such as Diageo and Transport for London.

Health and Safety Policy

Yep, we have one, but it is huge and frankly not the most riveting read. Clients can have a copy at any time so please just shout if you need it. It is brilliant at helping with insomnia.

Same with risk assessments for the noise assessments or screening.

Accident Management Policy

We don’t have a separate document dealing with it as we are so small. With one owner/Director the Policy is simply ‘tell the boss’ and the boss will report it and do what we can to stop it happening again.

If we have an accident while we are on your site just remember the basics of good health and safety - ‘get the body off-site and pretend we were never there’.

Privacy Policy

This is a separate page, not because we consider the policies above any less important, but because it is rather vast and complex to tick off all the needs of GDPR.

Link: Privacy policy

On-site supervision

We do not provide on-site supervision. This is either because:

1. The job is being done by the only Director in the company and there is nobody else to supervise this rarified and exalted being.

2. The job is a clerical one done anywhere in the country and we change location every day. For audiometry or spirometry we work in our own mobile office and have no need to enter the client’s site any further than the car park and the loo. The job is done mostly on a laptop so there isn’t all that much to supervise on-site. Every so often the Director is on a job alongside the Technicians so can see how things are being set up. After the job, every report is reviewed by the Director before being sent to a client so the business manager has reviewed everything a client receives from us.

Data Processing Agreement

All health screening works undertaken by The Noise Chap Ltd. are undertaken within the terms of the current Data Processing Agreement in place at the time of booking. This outlines the steps taken to protect Data within the terms of health screening. Our current Data Processing Agreement can be viewed here at any time. Any booking for work is at the acceptance of the terms of this Agreement.